Mom who?

Some moons ago, I had loads of pictures (a few were better than others) of my kids.  I had all the friends and family giving the ooooohhh aaaaaahhh, you take such great pictures you should think of doing it as a job.

Dun dun duuuuuunnnnn..........

Smidgen of a back story.  At 19 I was obsessively taking pictures of my new baby boy, Andrew.  Everything we did.  With every teddy bear he owned.  Every person that came to visit.  Every holiday, spit bubble and drooling chin.      

On down the road a handful of years, I got my first digital camera -that came with it's own printer!  So exciting, we were expecting baby number 2!  Just like before, just like any mom, I was always trying to capture every last breath they took -every last move they made.  For those couple of years I have so many memories, printed memories -memories I am also present in!

Then, it happened, I was asked to take pictures for someone else.  I was paid (a lot) and complimented by those friends and family.  I bought photo editing software, I was in!  Diving right into the selective color (vurp) and not so rocking the faux bokeh!  Your pictures are great they said.  You really have an eye for this they said.  Well, here comes the biggie, buying my first big girl dslr camera and lens.  Boy was I ever so excited.  Many hours of research, many emails and phone calls to anyone I knew who could give me advice.  My first big investment in ME, $800 and I was (in) abcs memories photography business and (out) of abcs memories.

(abcs memories):  Andrew Brian Clara Sami & Sam + memories.

I am not quite sure where those next 3 years of my life went.  I saw many sunrises, and not because I got up early enough.  Sunrise was now my reminder to get in an hour nap, before having to wake Andrew for school then get Clara and myself ready for work and daycare.  The day time desk job was my down time.  After work was always up in the air.  The evening photo sessions, editing marathons.  Self assignments, researching, practicing (messing up) slowly improving!  I was gaining on the business at a high rate of speed, I was new, I was cheap!  I was loosing on the memories, my own memories.  I was never in front of the camera any more, I was lucky to remember to still attempt documenting our everyday life, the reason I was here from there.  Those attempts turned to failure after failure as my kids would hide from the camera now.  Once Mommy starts using you as a test subject -you begin to dread and outright refuse being in front of her camera.

In the last 2 years I have really tried to rediscover the balance.  And patch the bond with my children of preserving our own memories.  The business is not worth doing, if I can't achieve the simple snapshots of my own life.  The business is not worth doing, when my children say they hate mommy doing photography, because she is always on the computer.  Precise editing, reading, learning, marketing, website updates, order processing, revamping my brand, finding my style, perfecting documents..... It took a toll on all of us.  I finally started gaining some trust back with Andrew and Clara.  They began letting me set up the tripod at random, so we could grab snapshots of our lives again.  But of course, a little offer of letting them work the wireless remote helped!  I slowly started capturing more of our life, and with that I have advertised less so to slow down because I am not good at turning away the chance to give other families the gift of memories.  Our children will only be this age now, they will only be little for a short time -photography will always be there.   As I aim to fill my computer and home with more of our own photographs,  I choose to slow on the business front.  But never fear, I am still here, just not putting myself out there as much.  Just hanging out here on the down low.

With that said, all the lack of marketing on my part -I have still had a ton of business!  I want to thank each and every one of you.  In an industry as saturated as photography, you picked me.  Various styles, personalities and pricing to boot -you chose me!  My heart is full, I love you all!  I ask of you, one more favor -never lose sight of your own memories.  It is a heartbreaking process to go through when you become too busy and look back to periods that are less than full of documented memories.

These are my abcs memories, and I will be present in them!  When the time comes to celebrate my life, my kids will remember who I was -not just the Dell and Canon logos.  They will have hard copy memories of me, their Mommy!