"...From our beginning I’ve known yours is a heart, I don’t ever want to break...." - Sami Hallock

Wedding day is here, good morning Saturday October 23rd, 2021!

Unfortunately for me, coffee still only tastes like hot water, but we got a start on the day grabbing our cups of bean water and visiting the bench on castle rock. I’d not been up there yet and it was a nice pause to sit a spell and be present in the quiet with each other.

We were about to head to the range to add the final details, but first we stopped in and had quite the enjoyable conversations with Josh’s mom about bulldozing through public places, losing family in the store, song choices and music set up.

Then the two of us headed to the range.

As we added the burlap, hung and test lit each of the lanterns I was in awe of what we had put together. Just sitting there being a witness to Josh, the best partner I’ve known and that I was about to marry, in our own place with our authentic details was such a grounding, breathtaking moment.

So of course, to further bring more joy into the day I grabbed my camera for some detail shots of our place. I knew the photographer we had hired would capture plenty of us through the day, but I still wanted to have some shutterbug time of my own. Camera therapy.

Now- I admit that I may forget a lot of things, but as I sat to experience the perspective for those who were to join us later… is a moment I hope to always remember.

The feeling of the bench under my derriere, embracing the pure joy in my heart and soul with my untied boots as I swung my feet with giddiness, the feel of a camera in one hand resting on my lap and of the burlap under the other hand as I leaned on it. The song of the breeze through the leaves, the bright blue sky, warm sun -and watching Josh complete the details of our vision.

Then as I had sat in the gravel whilst taking another photo I said to Josh, something along the lines of “oh forget it, I don’t really need to shower I’m going to marry you just like this, call up Kory I’m ready haha”.

And, I knew I could!

In that moment I knew nothing else mattered to me, and I realized the details honestly never did.

Not in the beginning middle or even towards the end of planning -I knew I only wanted to marry him, to be his wife and him my husband.

I could do that in my hoodie, leggings, bed head, yesterdays makeup and glasses (although I might have freshened the teeth with a swipe of the inside of my shirt and some gum right quick).

However, being that we had the opportunity for all inclusive family photos, that I will clean up for!

We parted ways for the rest of the day, the kids and I in one house finishing showers, hair and makeup so all that was left was to hang out while Josh went next door at his parents to get himself ready.

Jessica (Andrew’s girlfriend) arrived, soon followed by Kory, Mickayla, Maddie, my parents, Andrew then Christian, Autumn, Case and Ryder.

(Mental note, tell people next time there are 2 houses otherwise someone, as a newcomer, might walk into the wrong one…)

Our photographer Sally Grieshaber had arrived also and was working her way through detail shots while we all visited waiting for the clock to tell us it was time.

I had my old/new, borrowed/blue, boob tape in place and even more important, most of my closest favorite people surrounding me, with more outside.

I am not quite sure I have ever been as at peace, as I was in this day! I remember standing there feeling this new level of relaxation and then peace encompass my entire being, something I haven’t often known.

What a blessing to relinquish all feelings of needing to control or stress over details, I only wanted to enjoy the company of our families and to hold hands with an amazing man while we spoke of our love for each other.

The time finally came where Josh began taking everyone down to the range, making sure everyone had safe places to park and benches to sit.

Once everyone was settled at the range, it was time for Andrew to drive me over and walk with me up to this long awaited moment.

Two of the best men I know, one letting me take his arm while he walked me to the one who would take my hand and continue to hold my heart safe.

Whew a moment of nerves (contrary to what some may think, I get super nervous to speak in front of people).

Nervous moment aside, I do remember the immediate thought I had walking up looking at our place, seeing our family sitting here with and for us and that was “this is so incredibly peaceful, and is exactly how I hoped it would feel”.

For that moment, the silence was actually quiet (not something my mind accomplishes often).

The ceremony Kory had prepared for our day, was to no surprise amazingly delightful. An added benefit having Kory to stand with us, was the complete and cozy feeling of being present as ourselves with no pressure of an (event) to which let us be entirely relaxed to soak it all in.

Even embracing the slight interruptions from the sounds that came with the passing of vehicles and farm equipment on the super close to us road, some added ambience one might say.

We spoke of our love, we exchanged the rings and lit our Unity Lantern.

It was not too short,

It was not too long,

It was neither too little or too much;

It was altogether perfect,

Simplistically us,

Filling our hearts thiiiiiiiiiis much!

Not too mention, being that having everyone together is a rare occurrence I was pretty jazzed for family pictures with those we love and hold dear!

Sally was amazing and so pleasant to have with us. Our day was so simple and while not your traditional wedding day, she was right there ready and going with our flow.

As we made it back to the house- the grill was going and music playing, followed by a fire in the fireplace.

We did still have a first dance as husband and wife, as we embark to spend (Forever Like That) and it was magical. I’ve loved the song for so long, but at an unexpected level my cup runneth over with the purest of joy in the entirety of this experience. I love to dance, and even more so in his arms.

Just over two weeks, and I’m still taking it all in getting lost often in thought reminiscing -this wedding day, this ceremony in celebration of our love, with these people and this man.

The food was amazing, an enchanting back patio cookout with a fire and family.

All of our kids and grandkids hanging out, running around, laughing and enjoying each other’s company.

Sharing in this with our parents and our chosen family in the McGoverns.

What is not to revel in and adore?!

There is not one thing I would change…

( And in knowing me and that it’s a natural chain of thought within me non stop, no matter how happy I am with something I review/reflect on all details )

Not the thick insulated socks sticking out of my untied work boots (in place of the heels I bought), not the premade cake, not the people, not the coziness of my husband in a flannel vs a dressier shirt- all of it more captivating than any predisposed expectations.

Through all of the years prior we talked and talked what would this day look like? It was more than we could have ever dreamed up, and we feel it practically planned itself.

Another testament to our knowing what is meant for us, is already in existence and will show up in divine time.

Even knowing it is still hard for me to relinquish feeling the need to control details at times, but also knowing when I do let go, I not only see the magic, I feel it!

When we are staying true to our values and solid state self, that level of alignment is something one must experience to fully understand. And right there, even just once and again every time after, is where shift happens!

Take good care and travel safe,

Sami

PS: Now for some of those fab shots from our photographer, Sally Grieshaber Photography!