G.P.S Say What ?!

So like most motorists these days, I have a trusty GPS, and the nasty little witch has started lying recently!  So I may have yelled at her a few times before, I mean how many times does she need to say turn left ahead, turn left, turn left, turn left... are you looking Elmira I mean I am clearly turning left right now!  But since when does that push her over the edge, operating in this horrific manner of getting me lost?!To start off the trip on the "fastest" route wasn't a familiar one, so I choose the "shortest" route which initially looked the path I had taken before.  It's no secret, I am kind of a lead foot so I can make any route the fastest.... And this is where Elmira had other plans.  You see apparently she was in broom mode, taking me through every dirt and gravel road known to man in a 30 mile radius.  What should have been a 35-45 minute drive she has the nerve to tell me that my ETA will take 1 hour and 32 minutes.  I think NOT.  Well this again is where I was wrong.  You see Elmira might just be smarter than I give her credit, and it is my firm belief she took me down these roads, with full bitter revengeful intent, knowing these roads would not only steer me away from my destination but in fact cause me to go 13.8 miles per hour.Some of you by now may think I am crazy, but on this day, I know it was Elmira's goal to kill me off.  I mean after all it is my fault I yell at her, for yelling at me.  My suspicions were proven when it was time to reach my destination.  We all know that familiar voices saying continue XX feet and your destination is on your right/left.  So I am about to breath a sigh of relief as I hear your destination is on your right, your destination is on your right your desit --OK I get it you persistent woman!  So I turn right.. I am going right and as I continue ahead to my destination I see that Miss Elmira has me heading straight for a lake!!    Not a kiddie pool, but a LAKE!  There is no where else to turn, it is a dead end and I am in fact not at my destination.All else fails, thank goodness for sense of direction and I made it out alive and back out around and around again until I got to my real destination.  Thank you to the Bertram family for having patience with my tardiness, and obvious understanding that once I said the infamous GPS, she knew it wasn't going to be good....  =)|Sami