Last night, one year ago I was laying in bed when I got a phone call and on the other end was my oldest, crying as his shaking voice said Mama........

That was the hardest Mama I've ever heard in my life, the crying scared tone in his voice I will never forget.

Andrew was away at college, living in Nashville Tennessee and I knew, no matter what it was, I couldn't just get to him.

I couldn't just be there -and that was a feeling I had never experienced.

But at least it was his voice on the other end of that call I was hearing, whatever had happened he was OKAY enough to call me.

He said Mama, I totaled my car.

My heart sank, I couldn't breathe -are you ok?

He said “yah Mama, I'm ok…….. oh god…….” as he continued to cry and be scared.

One year ago last night my 18 year old grown up son, my baby, was driving home from school and with the slightest moment of circumstances changing lanes his car began to fishtail and he spun out.

First across 2 lanes of traffic, to his left into the concrete median wall, then throwing him back across all 4 lanes of traffic coming to a stop against a pole.

Everyone walked away and was able to go home that night. But the images in my mind, his car, him at the wheel and the crash site are forever etched into my brain.

Etched into a depth, of my empathic soul, that takes on and feels for others what I imagine an experience like that was like to a tune of feeling like I am seeing it through his eyes and feel with all the cells of my being how terrified he must have been in that moment.

I feel it, as if I am wearing it as my own experience.

This is an experience we kept between us, within our family and closest friends that had to know, those that held us up in what was an incredible emotional time.

I'm remembering this today and thinking what a difference a year makes. Looking back at everything we have all overcome, accomplished and experienced in a year -it blows my mind!

All the little things I stressed about, I've forgotten and all the big things we have experienced, celebrated and survived are memories that give us life, gratitude, laughs and tears.

Last night I created a new memory for that day (without realizing it was the same date) and I see how well the universe is taking care of me.

Last night, 1 year ago, I couldn't get to my son and the next day getting on the road driving until I saw him- was incredibly horrible.

Last night, this year, I spent back stage (which is quite literally watching the show on stage in pew like seating ... pictured below) at the Opry.

The universe gave me an equally great experience on a single date of the calendar to balance out the previous not so great experience and I see it for the outstanding gift that it is.

I new at any given time I was going to be at, and experience the Opry, but my first show fell on this day I believe, with a purpose.

I am blessed that I get to wake up everyday with this man, Joshua, by my side.

Everyday.

I choose to do life with him everyday because I love him at a level that is the utmost pure love I have ever experienced and when it's like that it really isn't even something I need to choose to do, it's something I am honored and thankful I get to do.

This life has given us so many gifts and adventures that are just cherry upon cherry on top.

Last night I arrived to a back entrance of a building, and my name was on the list.

My name was on a list, and I got to walk through the same doors all the artists walk through.

I was treated like I was suppose to be there, like I was accepted as belonging and not just as another random off the street.

To them it didn't matter who I was, or who I was not.

I didn't feel like I was looked upon as I didn't belong (and let me tell you I have spend my entire life feeling like any where I walk in, I don't belong).

I felt a warm welcome, at peace, surrounded with love and a part of something (a part of a family).

There are no words to describe the visual perfectness of what this building is.

All of the history within and on these walls.

The images capturing the history of what is the Opry every where you look, it's breathtaking.

Dressing room after dressing room, doors open welcoming of all those passing by.

And I was so privileged to meet my fiancé's boss -who happens to be Terri Clark.

A moment where I stood facing a woman who's music was an important part of so much of my life.

It's ok. I'm ok.

I thought walking the same halls as some of the greatest historical musicians have walked was exhilarating, and I was not prepared for the moment I was allowed to stand on that stage.

A stage where so many work to earn that moment to stand in that very spot.

The same stage they have been given the opportunity, based on the wonderment that is their ability, talent and blood sweat and tears as artists.

As the curtain was lowered and the seats were filled on the other side I was able to walk up to an iconic circle of wood, center stage.

I may not have been living on this earth March 5, 1963 -but none the less the death of Patsy Cline is something I've grieved as if I were. I can't explain it.

And I've always said if there were ever zero limits on bucket list wishes, going back to a time I could meet and know Patsy would be the top and maybe only wish.

There I stood and in that moment (as I tried not to pass out) I stood in a place Patsy Cline had been.

I was so nervous and felt as though I was unworthy of standing in this spot, as if this circle should be admired standing outside of it -but not in it.

I was a guest in the home of history, history that moved me to tears in ways unexpected but wonderfully accepted and appreciated for what the moments held.

We're living one hell of a life, making memories.

January 31st I've hit the gamut of not great, to great experiences, appreciating every minute of the lessons and memories found within each.

Take good care and travel safe,

Sami